Different News

I met with my licensor this morning. She is one of the sweetest people I have met. She is relatively new to licensing, but not new to the agency.


She showed me around the visiting rooms and the medical clinic and filled me in on some agency specifics.


I asked her about the present needs and there has been an increase of children coming through their doors older than the age stipulations on my license. It has been quite some time since they've seen a baby.


She explained the process of how they choose a family for a child that enters care.


Based off her information, I left feeling like it will be awhile before children are (long term temporarily) placed in my care.


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God is good and He always has perfect timing for everything.


While I wait, I plan to do respite care.


This allows for me to be a "weekend babysitter" and I don't need to plan for daycare, appointments, and everything else that comes with the territory of being a parent.


Right now I will take a placement ages 0-4 years old. Once I invest in a twin bed, I will expand that age range.... either up to 8 or maybe even 10 years old ... but for weekend respite only.


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So while it isn't the news I was hoping for, I am happy that the babies get to stay with their family. I am happy that there are less small ones entering the system.


My horizons are broadening. I am stepping into territory that I had not envisioned before. The future is still so unknown, but I follow my Papa's guiding and prompting.


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I am a momma. My heart has long been being prepared for this. My home not as long, but close to a year now.


God is good, and I know that He is preparing this way. I know that He has the perfect youngsters needing my love. There are children out there that will push me and mold me and have more of an impact on me than I may have on them.


If I can change the world of just one child ... my mission, my purpose, my calling will all be worth it. God is telling me that more than one life will be touched. How many that is, I don't know. But God knows.

Dear Newly Licensed Foster Parent

I got a letter from the State today. It was from the head of foster care in the state. I didn't really read it as I was pressed for time, but the "Dear Newly Licensed Foster Parent" brought tears to me eyes as the journey feels more real by the day.


It included a really nicely laminated reference sheet and how to call and schedule appointments for children in my care. Again, I just skimmed that, too.


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Next week I am getting together with my neighbor and we are going to work together to prep some freezer meals so that when I do take in placements the meal aspect of it will be easy.


We plan to make meatballs, and meatloafs, and crockpot freezer meals, and I'll probably throw in some stuffed shells. I will also make some sloppy joe mix and taco seasoned meat for easy and quick meals in a pinch.


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Tomorrow is the day that I get to meet my new licensor. My prior licensor saw me to licensure, but was then promoted to a licensing supervisor. This new lady has been great in emails and phone calls and I am rather excited to finally meet her face to face.


I have a feeling that it will only be a matter of time before I receive that call with a placement.


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So many things are coming up in my life and it is hard to commit to any of them.


I am missing out on a race because I thought I would have a placement by now, and I also spent the money somewhere else, as well as trying to save up for my half marathon in just over 8 weeks.


I could not commit to it and I wanted to so bad, but clearly no bad enough to make it work.


There is a concert coming up in September that I am going to with a friend. I told her to buy the tickets. I am going. I am going to have a good time.


There is a music festival the following Saturday that I am going to go to with my family that following weekend.


Just so much.


And I am still looking for backup sitters. I need people to watch the kiddos because I need to stop living my life with a "what if" mentality. I have been doing that since May. I have held off on things and places that I wanted to go and wanted to do because it was likely that I would have a placement.


Clearly, I did not nor do I have a placement.


It will happen. Soon. I know that. The statistics prove that there is a child -- children -- that need my home. They need my love. They need open arms that embrace them and help them embrace and prepare and excel with change.

My Hope is found in Christ Alone

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.


Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.



Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.



Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Hebrews 11:1  Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Psalm 71:14 As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.

Hebrews 6:19 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.

Job 11:18 You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

1 Corinthians 15:19  If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.

Daniel 12:3 Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the firmament, and those who turn many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever.

1 Corinthians 2:9 Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

Revelation 21:4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

Heroic Warriors

"Soldiers are trained. Warriors are Tempered."




I am in the middle of reading Girls with Swords by Lisa Bevere. I have read this book twice already over the past 2 or 3 years, but it is one of the books that you don't just read once.


The next part of the book hones in on being tempered as a Warrior.


I was talking with a dear friend last night and I was reflecting on my Foster Care journey. She was saying how she got together with a friend, and the friend's friend, and all 3 of them were saying how crazy it is that I am a foster mom, and that I was younger then all 3 of them. They didn't mean crazy as in insane, but moreso from a "wow" perspective, as I understood it.


During our conversation, I was reflecting on the past 11 months and one of the best ways I have been able to describe this Foster Care journey is that is has been character defining. My character has been being refined and defined over the course of a year.


This journey has not always been handled with the grace and poise that I so wish it were. This journey has been real and has been raw. In the moment I feel foolish to admit the hardships of it, but months later I can see just how needed those moments were!


"Control freak" are certainly not words I would use to describe myself. I like to know the order of events, and when there is sudden change it does take me some time to adjust, but adaptability is one of my strengths on the StrengthFinder 1.0. I can adapt to my changing environment. When things change I usually embrace them. There have been some moments recently in my life that went opposite of what I had planned for (been told), and I reacted not the greatest, until I realized that change can be joyful and adventurous and fun!


Being a Foster mom, I have to be a warrior. I have to stand up for me and the babies and their families.


Entering the Child Welfare system, I realized that it is a broken system. I can't go into great detail, not necessarily because I am not allowed, but moreso because I don't want to entertain negativity. I can get angered and depressed at how unfair the system is for children and foster parents. But I want to focus on the reality that God called me to this and that He alone will sustain me through this journey (as He already has and will continue to do).


To be strong and noble and a warrior. To teach the babies in my home that they, too, are warrior princesses, and warrior princes. To teach them that they are heroic. That they are world changers.


Foster care has a lot of stigmas, mostly negative, attached to it. I know that I am only one person, but I want to change the status quo for the kiddos that are under my care.


Foster care doesn't have to be negative. It doesn't have to be something to be ashamed about. Even for the kiddos bio parents .. I want to extend love.


Why did I embark on this journey? So far it has been all about the character defining moments. In the future? It'll still be about the character defining moments. But it will also be about providing a stable and loving environment to the youngsters that enter my home.

Training

this past Saturday I took more classes for foster licensing. If I understand correctly, this was all the training I needed before January 8, 2016 when my 6 month provisional license expires. Then I'll get the official license that is good for 2 years. I need to refresh on what training is required every two years after that.

These classes were PRIDE 5, 7 and 8. PRIDE 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6 are mandatory prior to being licensed. I took those 5 back in November 2014.

These classes focused on change and a small snapshot into all that changes in the lives of the children and families and Foster parents lives.

While the classes are certainly eye opening, I don't expect then to fully prepare me for what Foster care really is.

I've heard a lot of people say that Foster care wasnt at all what they expected; it wasn't as bad as they had been prepared for.

Whatever happens, I don't expect to be prepared, but I do know I've had adequate training and that thr Lord is on my side. He always has been. He won't ever leave me. Amen.

The Realness of it All

Foster Care. There is so much stigma attached to it. So much about it that I have not experienced yet.


People who ask why the children are in care. People who stare because the child is a different ethnicity. Curiosity.


Then the financial aspect of it. These children come from really dark places. They don't know how to express emotions in a healthy manner. They scream, kick, bite, scratch, break things.


Appointments. Visitations. Medicines. Abnormal sleep patterns. Acting out in ways not normal for a toddler. But these children are not "normal." In their short lives they have been traumatized, neglected, and encountered various abuses.


So much of me just wants to take them by the shoulders and look them square in the eye and tell them that life sucks. That life deals us a lot of crap. That we all get hurt at some point or another. I want to instill in them that they have a choice.


I don't like it when people always play victim. I want to raise these children to rise from a horrible place and know their worth. I want them to be victors.


Will they understand it? At 0-4 years old? Perhaps not. Will I be able to use these word tracts? More likely no. But through words and actions I can raise world changers. I want these kids to know that they are strong and capable of so much more than their circumstances try to define.


People may try to tell me how hard it will be. People may think this mentality [to raise world changers] is crazy. I have never really cared what negative people thought throughout this journey. God has called me to it, and has continually promised me that He will see me through it. He is the one who has given me this heart and this mindset. I will be faithful to it. Will there be hard days? There always are. Can I possible imagine all that is in store for me and my little family? Absolutely not. But I choose to embrace the goodness. I long for the moments that make this journey feel completely worth it. I long for the smiles on sad faces, and laughter from pure joy. I long for these babies to be loved far more then they presently are. I pray for their bio parents and bio families that healing happens. I pray for reunification. I pray for strong family bonds. I pray for greatness.


While my main focus is the health and well being of the babies, I pray to touch the lives of the bio parents. Because Lord knows establishing relationship with them can be the hardest part of the entire journey.

Calls

The calls come. Not very much at first.




Questions. Wondering if I can ... Saying they have a child needing a home. The first one was respite only. The second was a short placement as another family got licensed. The 3rd was a sibling group.




I have strict guidelines I need to stick to. I have opened my home for 0-4 year olds. I work outside the home. I have never been a parent before. I need to be able to work. I cannot jump into parent hood with a school aged child. The schedule would be a nightmare.


Foster care, while yes, is compared to a long term babysitter .. but there are appointments. There are visitations. There is so much time commitment. I am not sure how this is all going to come together.

I can fret and worry. I can stress and be anxious. But this journey has been in my Father's Hands since before I even knew it to be a dream of mine! So that is precisely what I will continue to do. Father, into your Hands I surrender all. Amen.