Take II

The next steps began.  A phone call placed.  A voicemail returned.  An email sent.  An orientation signed up for.  A phone call made.

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When I first began my foster care journey, I was in the midst of processing a breakup.  We were still friends and I remember talking to him around Labor Day 2014 and saying that I wanted to be a foster mom; fostering had been on my heart for at least 3 years at this point and I recall saying "But I am single ... I'd like to get married one day, but who is going to be interested in marrying me if I am raising someone else's children?"  His response was packed with wisdom as he said, "If they say no, then you know they aren't for you ... go for it and if it is meant to be, you'll find someone who is supportive of you."

So I jumped.  Both feet in.  There was no turning back.

"There's no turning back
Nothing in the past
My eyes on You again
Can't see nothing at all
But Your outstretched arms
Help me believe it
Though I falter
You got me walking on water"
-(NEEDTOBREATH)

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I was all in.  I felt as though I were walking on water as I navigated the journey.

It was two years later, that I met my now husband.  I had a four year old placed with me at the time we met.  Watching the two of them grow and bond made this momma heart happy.

As our relationship became more serious and we were taking the next steps to forever, we talked about foster care.  He was on board with the journey.  Our plan was to keep the license open, add him onto it, and then pursue fostering after six months of marriage.  That is not exactly what happened, but hind sight is 20/20.  In a way, what happened was exactly what needed to happen in the order it was supposed to.  God is so cool like that!

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So here I stand on the edge of the water once again.  This time with my husband by my side.  I hear the Lord asking me if I trust Him.

This is scary, once again.  I am in a different season of life now.  So much has changed in the past 3-4 years.  But the commission is the same.  My God is the same.

He has called us to this and He will see us through.

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I have such a tendency to focus on the "what ifs" in a negative light.  The "what ifs" of finances, emotions, housing, and the list goes on.

But my faith can move mountains.  Do I believe that?

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Foster Care.  I have always believed and prayed that it would be a life long calling.  I still cannot answer that; only time will tell.

My plan has been filled with ups and downs.  It has not gone exactly as I have planned.  But God knows.  May His will be done.

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Here we are on the edge of the water ... Lord send us.  We are ready.

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On Monday we begin.  We go to orientation and we receive our application.  We fill that out and we go while the light is green.

I trust.  The unknowns and "what ifs" do not define.  We may hit a dead end.  But we are going until we cannot go any more.  That may mean "until later" or that may mean full licensure and receiving placements.  Only God knows and we trust that God will guide us!