Loving the Littles and Paperwork

This past Monday I dropped off a large envelope to my foster care agency.  I was going to mail it, but the darn thing would not stay shut and I have no tape in the house.  

The latest paperwork that went out included our prudent parenting training, finger printing info, and one or two other odds and ends.  

That is the last of what was given to us.  I believe the next step is that two weeks after we get finger printed, we will have our ongoing licensor assigned to us.  So we should have that in the next week or just beyond; unless of course I missed something. 

Both my husband and I need an annual physical which are scheduled for next week and the first week of August.  We begin the Presley Ridge training on July 14; that will be every Tuesday and 2 Saturdays from July 14 to September 8. 

My real hope is that we can get everything done for licensure prior to September 8, then finish that last training and have our entire home study/whatever it is that needs to be sent to the state come Monday, September 11.  Huge and lofty goal that is not even in my hands.  But we have been extremely proactive the past 2 weeks!  September is an amazing goal, but I am also understanding of the process taking longer as well.  My trust is in the Lord; we go until we cannot go any further or until we are licensed!  Then it is a whole new set of crazy! 

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My husband and I just did 7 days of respite for another foster family.  It was wonderful having babies in our home!  We had just brought over the second crib and two days later received a phone call asking if we could do short term respite over the holiday/weekend.  We had to make some slight changes in our schedule, but we got those taken care of and then found a caregiver to watch the littles while we were at work and there ya have it! 

We have offered to be subcare providers for this family until we are licensed with placements of our own if they would like; so they will be keeping in touch with us if that is something they are interested in! 

My heart is full!  I just "turned over" the nursery and I felt a little bit like I work in a hotel.  Changing bed linens, organizing the nursery, putting everything just-so.  Yet I would not change this course of life.  I love this and I am ready for the adventures that await us! 

Phase I begins!

Monday, June 11, 2018.  6:30-8:30pm.  My husband and I sit in a warm room with a few other couples.  "Orientation for foster and adoptive parents" is what we are signed up for.  Two pleasant ladies introduce themselves and begin to explain what the evening is about.

So much information.  It is real, honest, raw.  There is a huge need for foster and adoptive parents.  But this journey is not easy.  It is not a decision that is made lightly. 

I have walked this journey before.  I know what is like at least to some degree.  I have had two placements of my own.  I work with foster children at my day job. 

My husband and I learned more about what being foster parents look like and that it is a commitment and that we need to have a strong marriage and be on the same team.  We know we are called to this.  We know this is part of the journey God has called us to walk.   Our marriage will be made stronger through obedience to God's calling on our lives.

So there we sat.  Two hours later we filled out an application and turned it in.  The onboarding/intake worker is coming to our home on Tuesday, June 19, 2018.  We have officially begun the process.  The only way to stop the process from moving forward is with a written statement. 

We first thought of getting licensed for 1 child ages 0-2, but realized that that is such a limited age frame that we may not end with any calls.  I had previously been licensed for up to 2 children ages 0-4 and we decided that we would do the same thing this time around as well.  I was not positive how big the nursery is, but I am ecstatic to report that is large enough for at least two children! Could possibly even be large enough for three if we were to use bunk beds, but we are hoping to get licensed for youngsters who are too young for bunk beds.  This weekend will be spend breaking down a crib, moving it from my dad's house, and then rebuilding it in our home.

We have a few odds and ends that we would like to purchase to help make our home safer for children, but we pretty much have all that we need from my past experience.

So here we are.  Phase I beginning.  There are three phases total.  I do not recall each one presently, but the plan is to document this journey as accurate as possible right here. 

Stay tuned as we journey from two to more! I already went from one to two, and now our plan is to have enough children in our care that we need to purchase a Nissan NV van ... which holds 10 passengers in back and 2 in the front.  I want to be those people!

Take II

The next steps began.  A phone call placed.  A voicemail returned.  An email sent.  An orientation signed up for.  A phone call made.

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When I first began my foster care journey, I was in the midst of processing a breakup.  We were still friends and I remember talking to him around Labor Day 2014 and saying that I wanted to be a foster mom; fostering had been on my heart for at least 3 years at this point and I recall saying "But I am single ... I'd like to get married one day, but who is going to be interested in marrying me if I am raising someone else's children?"  His response was packed with wisdom as he said, "If they say no, then you know they aren't for you ... go for it and if it is meant to be, you'll find someone who is supportive of you."

So I jumped.  Both feet in.  There was no turning back.

"There's no turning back
Nothing in the past
My eyes on You again
Can't see nothing at all
But Your outstretched arms
Help me believe it
Though I falter
You got me walking on water"
-(NEEDTOBREATH)

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I was all in.  I felt as though I were walking on water as I navigated the journey.

It was two years later, that I met my now husband.  I had a four year old placed with me at the time we met.  Watching the two of them grow and bond made this momma heart happy.

As our relationship became more serious and we were taking the next steps to forever, we talked about foster care.  He was on board with the journey.  Our plan was to keep the license open, add him onto it, and then pursue fostering after six months of marriage.  That is not exactly what happened, but hind sight is 20/20.  In a way, what happened was exactly what needed to happen in the order it was supposed to.  God is so cool like that!

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So here I stand on the edge of the water once again.  This time with my husband by my side.  I hear the Lord asking me if I trust Him.

This is scary, once again.  I am in a different season of life now.  So much has changed in the past 3-4 years.  But the commission is the same.  My God is the same.

He has called us to this and He will see us through.

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I have such a tendency to focus on the "what ifs" in a negative light.  The "what ifs" of finances, emotions, housing, and the list goes on.

But my faith can move mountains.  Do I believe that?

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Foster Care.  I have always believed and prayed that it would be a life long calling.  I still cannot answer that; only time will tell.

My plan has been filled with ups and downs.  It has not gone exactly as I have planned.  But God knows.  May His will be done.

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Here we are on the edge of the water ... Lord send us.  We are ready.

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On Monday we begin.  We go to orientation and we receive our application.  We fill that out and we go while the light is green.

I trust.  The unknowns and "what ifs" do not define.  We may hit a dead end.  But we are going until we cannot go any more.  That may mean "until later" or that may mean full licensure and receiving placements.  Only God knows and we trust that God will guide us!

The Next Part of the Journey

After what feels like an eternity, a phone call has been made, a voicemail left ... to hopefully begin the process of relicensure so my husband and I can reopen my foster care license, to make it our license.

After our gorgeous September wedding, we did not have time for him to get everything done in time to renew my license, I was told.  I was asked to voluntarily close my license. 

We moved, we got pregnant, we lost babies, we continued in school, we continued at our jobs, we continued to move forward in life.

I am not positive what this journey will look like, but I am ready to "go while the light is green." I have the same attitude I had 3 years ago ... I am going until I cannot go any further.  This will either come to fruition or we will hit a dead end.

We are praying that God's Will be done.  We cannot control what will happen, but I trust that everything will be done for God's greater glory. 

May my husband and I grow in the journey and trust in the Lord to guide our hearts and our minds. 

Silence

All has been quiet over in our little world. A couple of visitors due to weekend respite over the past 11 months, but no big commitments.

I started school back at the beginning of the year, and am less than a week away from entering the Social Work program.

Wedding prep is also underway as I prepare for my walk down the aisle to be wed to my husband to be in just over two weeks.

All of the paperwork appears to be in order thus far. Bi-annual license renewal is in January, but all the paperwork must be done in November.

It is coming up on a year of no placements and I go between keeping my license open or closing it.

This is a new season. I am getting married. I would love to birth my own babies.

Yet there are children out there who need a family.

Two placements over 13 months. Just about 8 months apiece. They overlapped.

I am praying my way through this season because I honestly am not sure what to do. Opening my home to do foster care was the right thing to do in that season. I always dreamt about being a foster mom for 15, 30, 40+ years. It has been just over two years now that my license was open. I've thought about closing it and reopening it (essentially getting re-licensed) in 18-20 years after having kids and them growing up.

This is a scary season, to be honest. I wish I had the answers, but I don't. I know God will guide me. I know I'll be blessed so long as I remain obedient.

Annual Home Visit

So in the world of foster care, one first gets licensed by the state. That license is what is called a "Provisional" license and is only good for 6 months. Prior to that 6 months being over, a home visit must occur and then a two year license is then applied for. Since I got my two year license already, every year the licensor needs to make a home visit to make sure that the home/family is in compliance and to see where they stand regarding continuing fostering, and I was due for my annual visit.

I now have my third licensor in 2 years. One got me licensed, one got me through my provisional license and perhaps now this one is here to stay for awhile. Saying I was a ball of nerves is an understatement. The first two licensors wasn't too challenging as I was new to fostering. If I was not compliant with something, they'd tell me, I'd fix it and no big deal. But I've had placements. If I were not compliant with something, and it being a new licensor I was worried.

But all went well. I was able to express strengths and weaknesses. I was able to elaborate on what I did well and what I felt I could improve upon.

The past year of fostering was filled with so many good things and so many challenging things. It was oh so hard but it was far more rewarding. It inspires me to press on. I look forward to the littles that I'll love on next.

Today I picked up some sheets and pillows for a twin bed. I need to get a frame and a mattress but I'll eventually have a twin bed in the nursery to do some respite care for a lovely family and their newest placement of a sweet 5 or 6 year old little miss.

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The past two days have been spent putting up my Christmas tree. Last year I put the tree up, put a gate around it and called it that. I never put any decorations on it. I had an 11 month old last year. This year I have my tree lit, decorated and no gate around it. It feels nice to not having to worry about a toddler getting into the tree or pulling things off it or even pulling it over!

Adjusting to no kidlets has been relatively easy, but I also miss the little noises and interruptions from them. I won't wish away this season of quiet though.

Bursting Heart

This Momma Heart is FULL!

Three days ago I got to visit with my Baby Bug (who is actually 4.5 years old!) and today I get to visit with my Baby Tugboat who is 22 months old!

While both have graduated from my care, I love that I get to maintain a relationship with them.

God is good!

Watching my baby girl grow and develop over the past 14 months is amazing. I am literally in awe that I get to maintain a relationship with her and her momma. I love that I get to take my baby girl for afternoons and just love on her. She and I share a special bond.

I've heard so many foster care stories; both of birth parents keeping in contact as well as parents wanting nothing to do with the foster parents.

One of my goals as a foster parent is to foster a relationship with birth parents where we can stay in contact during care and after reunification. I don't have much experience in that, but God guides me.

So today I will hug my baby girl. I will squeeze her tight and love her with all I've got. We get to visit my family today so they can all love on her to! She has such a huge extended family that loves her to pieces!

I love this aspect of fostering. I love that I witnessed firsthand "the system" working to bring a family back. I love that I get to continue watching this sweet baby grow and become a little girl. I am excited for her future!