Gearing up for Good Bye

Oh the emotions that come with saying Good Bye. The emotions that are present in Foster Care. The knowing that by saying "yes" that a "Good Bye" is almost always to follow.


What a beautiful past 7 1/2 months it has been loving on the most perfect baby girl. She has taught me so much about love, and patience, and joy. My heart beats outside my body.


How can I love a baby that I've only known so short? How can this girl be my world? How can I love another momma's baby?


Attached. We bonded within hours. She saw me and I was Momma. I was caretaker.


Transition visits are occurring. One night away ... two nights away ... three nights away ...


I tried to protect my heart. I tried to keep walls up. I know that that is not what foster parents are suppose to do.


She is the one that made me a momma. She is my baby through and through.


I pray going forward that this little angel forms a bond so strong with her own momma. I pray that she is strong and courageous. I pray that she knows her Heavenly Abba and learns how fearfully and wonderfully made she is.


I pray that it isn't a good-bye, but rather a "until I see you again" and that we can keep in touch.


I may never know the impact I've had on her life, but I pray that it goes beyond just her.


She is the most perfect baby girl. I have seen so many "firsts" and have encouraged, loved and comforted her through her milestones.


Sometimes I feel guilty being "Momma." She has a momma. She has a momma that loves her so so so very much. She has a momma that was momma before me.


But that doesn't make me anything less than her momma.


Co parenting. It is a thing. And I love it. I love raising this baby girl with her mom. I love that I have been privileged to take this wee lass under my wing and pour into her every ounce of love I could muster.


Saying our farewells won't be easy. Every single moment of the past 7+ months has been worth it. I'll do this a million times over. Just to grow and experience God's great love through and through, over and over.


My life may change. The circumstances of my life may change. But God stays the same. He is constant. He is my rock. He is my refuge. God is my strength.


One baby out of thousands just in my state. My arms and my heart are open. "Catch and release. Catch and release."